i’m always going to be sick, aren’t i? by Amber Renee

see, there are years of restlessness inside of

my head; history like

      eons of

           nostalgia,

bitter wars,

famine, natural disasters;

enemies building fences between homes 

   like separation from god is the true meaning of hell. 

// i’m all wrapped up in 

this fucking skin; paperthin &

                                constricting—

—my body: blood & guts & muscle & bone all    moving around, shifting bodily fluid. 

useless, useless, useless. 

there are years of resistance inside of

my head. / i’m sickened by 

existence. 

/ i want to go to bed.

Amber Renee, she/her, 26, writes from her home in suburban Bucks County, PA. A fool hopelessly in love with the pursuit of psycheverse knowledge, she often writes autobiographically. “Thoughts on This Most Recent Episode” was her 2016 full length collection of self-published poetry ruminating on her thoughts & illnesses. As recently as January 2020 she published a Poetry Picture book “i feel like i’m nothing” available online. Find her on social media @amberreneepoet

Published by Serotonin

Keep pushing that boulder up the mountain.