Seven for the seconds I live away from heaven Seven for the times the gods will let the already-dead win And seven are the times I have tried, And been denied My entry to the door that guards the first floor of heaven. Seven for the seconds I die away from earth And seven are the times that I have shirked And gone berserk If only in my mind which is between the gods and I. Seven for the days that are numbered, The days I find without wonder, And I wonder still, Who will die when I will?
Xuan Nguyen is a disabled, transgender, and Vietnamese-American writer and artist who does music as FEYXUAN. They focus on the intersections between transgender identity, divinity + monstrosity, and stigmatized mental and physical health. Their work has appeared in or is forthcoming from Rattle, Rogue Agent, and beestung. They have two upcoming chapbooks: LUNG, CROWN, AND STAR (Dec 2020, Lazy Adventurer) and THE FAIRIES SING EACH TO EACH (EST Dec 2020, Flower Press). Xuan can be reached through their websites at feyxuan.com or mothlily.love.